Happy New Year?

I was reflecting earlier...

I watched The Day After Tomorrow, and then watched an update on the tsunami disaster. It was an interesting combination.

What I thought was most interesting though, was that, the people in Sri Lanka didnt have New Years Eve celebrations. They simply lit candles that were shaped to the numbers "2005." I cant imagine how they must be feeling. Keeping in mind that all people present are survivors of the tsunami. All have dead family and friends, livelihoods taken away from them, homes destroyed, friends homes destroyed and they stood around these candles that said "2005". Can you imagine their devestation at the mere fact they are facing a whole year??? That is so unbelievably tragic some of them must be wishing they were dead.

I wonder what its purpose was...I always question events. Mainly I ask why. Because I think that if some reasonable justification can be given, then it hurts less. I wonder how God feels about it all. I'm glad that He knows why, and not me. I think its a good thing that He doesnt let us in on the secrets of the universe...Its a huge test though. Because when we dont understand we are forced to accept things in blind faith. And thats hard for us. But its strengthening when we learn (and I think we all learn this many times in our life) that we can trust Him entirely. Because no matter what happens, He is always in control and He always understands why.

Isaiah 45:5-7
I am the Lord, and there is no other;
Besides Me there is no God.
I will gird you, though you have not known Me,
That men may know from the rising to the setting of the sun
That there is no one besides Me.
I am the Lord, and there is no other,
The One forming light and creating darkness.
Causing well-being and creating calamity;
I am the Lord who does all these.

Christmas and HSC Antics!

tim and I had the most hilarious coincidental moment a few moments ago....i said...I got Andrew the most ingenious Christmas present...he said what? i said..."insert gift here" he said..."you know thats funny coz thats what I got him." i said "no way" he said "yes...I said are you serious? he said..'yes.' It liturally took me five minutes to realise that Tim wasnt playing a practical joke on me but that he was being completely seriouis....then I said where'd you get urs? he said "Blah blah blah" I said...seirous? me too...what brand? "blah blah blah" I said me too!

I decided turning 18 has a bit of an anti climax. Not a huge one...its still exciting-its just a bit of an anti climax. because-Nothing really happens...you dont feel different and essentially its just like any other age. Yes I go to jail instead of juvi, and I dont really consider that a good thing..yes I can buy alcohol..But I havent been ID'd once so I could have been buying it before.

Other anti climax..UAI. Like I absolustely believe that everyone got what God wanted, because just talking to people from school it truly has worked out perfectly and where its not what people hoped/thought it would be-whether for good or bad-it makes sense that God has other plans. So in that instance "Woohoo, God is SO faithful and Good..." But besides that...its jsut a random number. And essentially it truly is a random number, because the way they manipulate the marks u get, if they felt like it, they could give you whatever they jolly well felt like at the time. But hey, I know they dont. They do their best...Whoever they are.

My irony for the week...month...year actually! I sat out most of the year saying..."I'm not stressed about the HSC, it doesnt matter to me, on an eternal scale it means nothing!" Well post exams I ahve been having enormously distressing pain in my jaw resulting in migraine like headaches-a consequence of grinding my teeth out of stress during exams...

Merry Christmas and God Bless everyone!

I'm thinking about change. Some change is really exciting. Some change is really sad. Some change is bitter sweet. Some change is way necessary. Overall I think change is a good thing. Even if the change is someone moving away or dying, you become stronger for it and most people become better people. You can let change affect you badly but if that's the case, then I think the change hasnt been overcome or dealt with.

I think change can become a crutch though. Some people are continually changing themselves through the way they dress, their religions to try and find peace, stability, something that makes them happy. For some people change is escapism. People use change to run away from problems and not deal with issues that are haunting them.

I've also been thinking about plastic surgery. I wonder what God thinks of plastic surgery. I'd really like to have a good heart to heart with him about it! Essentially, I think I am really strongly against elective plastic surgery because I think it shows that people place too much emphasis on the importance of a good appearance. I'm not so much angry about it as I am sad. It just shows how our society has its priorities completely upside down. Many celebrities have said that poeple should do what makes them happy, because life is too short to be miserable and if a little bit of plastic surgery is what it takes then why not? How about that??? We have come to a place where people rely on their looks and plastic surgery to be happy. Thats really, really sad. Plastic surgery doesnt change people's hearts or minds, but its a symptom of insecurity. For people who continue to get plastic surgery, I think their problems are more profound. I think that they are trying to change from the outside in, instead of from the inside out. I feel really sorry for them. think of Michael Jackson. We all know he had a hard childhood. But, imagine what it could have been like for him going to the plastic surgeons the first time to get his nose changed a little bit. And it worked, and he felt better about life, so he went back and when he was feeling a little down for a lift, and maybe it made him feel better again. Imagine how devestating it would have been for him, when the plastic surgery went wrong.

There are suspisions that John Kerry got Botox during the presidential election. I dont think a little bit of plastic surgery is bad, I jsut think its sad that people feel they need it. That people waste their money on it. AND most of all, that people are prepared to risk their health on it because we dont know the long term effects of plastic surgery. This one particular shock therapy thing that kills wrinkles, might be crows feet that it gets rid of, is like an electric shock and the strength of the muscle that your trying to paralyze determines the strength of the treatment. The fact that electric shocks kill people isnt enough to deter some from having this stuff aimed near your brain.

I admit I'm being slightly hypocritical, because I love getting dressed up and pampering myself. One of the reasons I loved the formal so much was because I got to get dressed up. I'm sure one day that I will stand in the mirror and go, bother, I've got wrinkles. And I will desire to have plastic surgery...but I know the only reason is out of insecurity. I believe that the Lord, not only can overcome these insecurities within us, but that He wants to overcome them.

The ways of the Lord overcome all things in the world.

Ahhhh! I'm so excited I dont know where to start!

I finished exams...
Went to the womens thing at church last night...
Formal tomorrow!

Ahhh! Excitement plus!

Im having a treatment at the hairdressers at 9am, off to laurens hairdresser at 10am, makeup with beck at the mall at 12noon, then back home...maybe for some lunch...even tho make up will be on...and then off to the pres at about 2.30 i think. From the pres will come home to see family and take photos before graduation at about 4pm. At 4.30 Will go to the school where we will "ahhh" with everyone again and then gradtuation until about 6pm, from there at 6.30 off to the zoo...we will dance, have dinner, photos at the zoo and then come back to the area on the bus! From there to Macy's at neutral bay we go to have coffee and feel beautiful being all dressed up! Plans are a bit hazy after that...but its gonna be SO MUCH FUN! I cant wait!

Oh little side note....virtually everyone at the formal is wearing black! The more people you talk to, the more you discover are wearing black! But that way we can say, it was black tie, and everyone not wearing black isnt appropriately dressed!

I wonder how many people will get spray tans...i dont know what I think of those. I dont think I could do it because I dont think I would suit a fake tan but also because i have sensative that will probably react badly....

P.S. I love Becks fringe!

I wonder if I will rejoin the world of people once the my exams are over...or will I remain in this state of half awareness? I hope I rejoin the world...I dont like that things seem to be passing me by unnoticed. A couple of years ago I heard a lady say...."as I get older my brain gets dumber." Even though i'd heard that for years, I'd never heard anyone admit it before. I hope its not that my brain is getting dumber which is making me be only half aware.

Where did the year go?

"Although not directly religious, these curious spiritual images bring a reader back to the origin of this technical literary term 'Epiphany', meaning the coming of the Magi to Jesus at Bethlehem."

Tomorrow is Friday...and on a Friday morning at 7.30 I used to have maths, with Sally and Lauren and our wonderful christian maths teacher...

Sally hasnt been in our maths class for a while...but I just realised then, that, she and I will never fog our glasses over a cup of tea in that class again! And now I'm all emotional about leaving school again.

I miss our modern history teacher who baked for our monday morning class..she made THE BEST choclate muffins...

I miss laughing in English with Lauren (my other lauren friend) we never did any work, but when we were given sheets to read, we would sit together and read words alternatively...it was SO funny. We werent much liked at the end of the year, but we had fun!

I miss extension (i dont think i can spell) english and our lessons on love from our wonderful teacher! He gave us the greatest advice and we had the funniest conversations about romance and death with him. I also miss that I dont have an outlet for expressing all my hate and anger towards chauvanism.

I miss our year advisor and her wonderful laugh and caring delicate ways.

I miss sitting out the front of assemblies with my fellow captains and paying no attention to the principals while we laughed ourselves stupid.

I dont miss Japanese...I regret (oh yes I used the r word) Japanese because I screwed it hard.

And Geography was just boring so I dont miss that...even though our teacher was a champion and he told us funny stories about his life and the Tony's that lived near him and those that he used to work with.

I miss my wonderful Oak Tree people...

I never got to eat everything in the canteen...

Having said all that...bring on the exams...the more we do the closer we come to freedom and I cannot wait to stop feeling guilty for not being absorbed by the HSC. I just found my justification for not being absorbed by the HSC and why I dont need to justify myself...I know that God has my life in His hands...He has planned everything to happen the way it has happened and the way it will happen. Hence why I dont need to be consumed by the HSC and its not my attitude that needs to change; its the world's!

I turned 18 yesterday. And I was woken up by this almighty beep beep beep beep beep beep at 12.30am! It was a wonderful friend of mine wishing me well into adulthood! (No sarcasm intended) Thinking back on it, it was such an interesting day in the way God chose to bless me. We had our second English exam and so we all were very focused on retaining information until we got out of the exam! But I was able to enjoy all my hugs and Happy Birthdays before the exam and still remember the stuff for the exam! Mind you, if I've forgotten it I'm not gonna remember that I've forgotten it...but the exam went fine and thats good enough for me!

The thing that touched me most was, the random people who I was best friends with throughout high school, that bought me flowers and other presents, even though we arent close anymore. I often wonder in my family, why we celebrate birthdays...is it because we are celebrating that person's existance or is it because its a responsbility and we dont want them to feel forgotten on their birthday. But with these people it was so obviously that we are still special to each other that drove them to being so caring towards me yesterday, because they had no responsibility to remember my birthday...but they did. And it was such an amazing blessing!

I love that about God! He finds the most awesome ways to bless us. He knows what will mean so much to us and what we will remember and what will touch us most. Knowing that He goes out of His way to do these things for us in love is such a blessing in itself. There's so much to say about God that there really arent words.

I can feel myself going insane...hehehe....imagine what it would be like to deliberately blow your HSC exams...deliberately write the wrong thing...deliberately answer the wrong questions...write the examiners sermons on how Jesus died for them...write song lyrics...and use vocaublary items that you are sure they will not read elsewhere while marking! (not rude words though) You could seriously make their day in some ways! I think it would be so much fun, to, for three hours while everyone elses hands die as they scramble to write everything, you could sit there and have a great time amusing yourself-imagine not being able to contain your laughter in an HSC exam!

...temptation....